singinghuntress | IC Inbox: Duplicity

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"I don't think I have a choice... about sleeping," he murmurs. "Just for a short while. 'V'e done this before. Be all right..."

He leans against her, clearly having surrendered the fight against sleep.

With him out like this, she didn't have a choice but to get comfortable as he slept. Though, Rip.. might be making sure he still has a pulse from time to time while she patiently waits for this to wear off.

She's a little too worried to even attempt sleep so...

It's about an hour before he stirs again. The whole time, his pulse was slow but steady, his breathing deep. It's doubtful he even dreamed, as he'd remained motionless.

Presently he pulls in a slow, deep breath and sighs, sitting up blearily, and has the good grace to look sheepish.

"I... well. That was a miscalculation," he sighs. At least now he sounds reasonably lucid.

After checking his pulse a few times and finding him slow but steady, Rip finally and very reluctantly relaxed and just... waited.

An hour later when he started to stir, she was still there with him leaning on her. Though by now she was gently threading her fingers through his hair. "A miscalculation."

Her words were just blunt. "Exactly, vat vere you trying to do?" Though she had a sneaking suspicion.

Oh, dear. Azwel can't wriggle his way out of this conversation. Not that he could bring himself to. He leans into her touch for a moment and then sighs.

"I'd been taking it for weeks, now, but recently, I..." he pauses, looking for the the words that would best explain it, "I'd been using more of it since that night. Only a drop more than usual, but today the pain was especially severe and my own mind especially tormented that I... didn't pay sufficient attention to how much I'd added."

The motion of her fingers stilled as he mentioned that he had been taking something for pain. That she could understand but..

His mind had been tormented over their loss, must like hers had been. Rip will admit she might have done something stupid in her own way since that night but, nothing like that.

...Not... that drugs really affected her that much anymore anyway.

"You overdosed. Because of..." The child they lost. Rip couldn't even bring herself to say it as she resumed running her fingers through his hair for now.

Azwel lets his eyes fall shut.

"It was one loss too many," he whispers. "A pain in my soul as though pain in my body and mind weren't enough."

The loss of their child was the last blow, cracking that facade of strength. He shudders, pulling in an unsteady breath, tears rolling from his eyes despite the weary expressionlessness of his face.

Rip nodded and then drew him into her arms and held him, her head resting against his. She understood what he meant, she'd been feeling the ache deep within her but, had been trying her hardest to distract herself with something else.

... Like her time with Alucard, the very reason she disappeared for a few days afterwards. Rip wasn't exactly the best at coping with things either. She became just as self-destructive, just in different ways.

After a few moments, she pressed a kiss to his hair as he cried against her. A few of her own tears were trailing down her cheeks again as she tried not to think about their loss. "Ve've both lost a lot in our lives. Zhis was.." her hold on him tightened slightly. "Ve haf each ozher still."

They're just going to keep making each other weep if they continue like this. Azwel sniffs, rubbing his wet nose, slowly realising his tears have left wet spots on Rip's shirt. He's pretty certain she doesn't mind any more than he minded hers, but he still takes several deep breaths in an attempt to stop. It's exhausting and he's already feeling terrible.

"We do," he murmurs into her shoulder. "And we will... for as long as we can." He pauses, hesitating over whether he should air the rest of his thoughts. They're vague notions, untested and thus unproven, and yet they can't be reasoned away.

She could hear the hesitation and knew there was more he wanted to say. It was just... a question of him being ready to share his thoughts with her. Rip kept running her fingers through his hair for now, letting him have a little time to breathe before she spoke again

“For however long ve are here und hope neither one of us get sent home.” Which was a death sentence for both of them in reality. Rip fell silent for a few more moments... “ .. ve can deal vith vatever gets throw at us.”

He nods, giving a vague smile. "True," he whispers. "We can. We won't let them break us."

Words he hopes he can live by, especially given this place's ever-increasingly devious attempts to do just that.

A little flutter of his old optimism flits through his mind. Maybe he'll weather all of this, after all. But he'll have to tell her what it is he's weathering. He pulls in a deep breath and lets it out in a long sigh.

"This pain getting worse is... worrisome," he says. "And I've been feeling as though something is wrong for a while, now. Ever since I arrived here, really. But I don't know what it is. It's... vague. Elusive."

Her fingers paused for a moment, more worries being added to her already growing pile before she started to continue running her fingers through his hair. She knew he was in pain at times.. but. She didn't realize how bad it was.

"Iz zhere a vay to figure out vat it is or vhy zhe pain is increasing?"

He sighs, leaning into her touch for a moment. "The only way I can find any of that out is to submit myself for a complete medical examination. You can see the trouble there. But I've reached the limit of my own research and testing."

A pause. "Or I could find a healer. See if their magick could do something, instead."

Her touch was gentle as he leaned into it as she considered the troubles getting a full medical examination might entail. "...Perhaps, but, you may need to get a medical examination anyvay to find out vats wrong vith you. A healer uzing zheir...magick could make zhings vorse."

Admittedly, she didn't know much about healers in general. Rip's more familiar with medical examinations and experimentation than Alchemy and Magic. "If Haven vorries you, ve could ask for one in private zomevhere or ask one of zhe Doctors to come to my home for you."

"The trouble is magickal in nature, but... you're probably right. It straddles the line between magick and science and... I'd need to find someone who is familiar with both. As much as I hate to think about it, Doctor Reid is most familiar with this... condition."

Then he sighs and shakes his head. "That's not fair to him--he's been nothing but professional and unbiased this entire time, despite his associations."

At least he wasn't going to argue with her on that part. And..Reid was exactly who she was thinking of going to honestly. Despite who he was associated with and her own issues with the good Doctor in the past, he took his profession seriously from what she's seen...

"I vas just going to suggest him. Ve can insist he doesn't involve anyone else if you like." She hesitated for a moment. "Zhe Ivy voman feels off to me und zhe last I saw of her, she vas vorking on zomezhing zhat..felt pleasant but, she vouldn't let me get near it."

Rip really had no idea what she saw in the workshop she 'politely' got chased out of not that long ago. "Zo if she is your concern, ve can alzo insist on him examining you zomevhere not Haven."

Azwel rubs a hand over his face. "As much as I'd prefer he make a house call, so to speak, I suspect we'll need access to the machinery they have there. And to further complicate the issue, I may have to involve her, as she has access to..." Here, he stops, then blinks at Rip as the fact finally catches up to his rambling thoughts.

"When did you go over there?"

She frowned a little and thought back. "...Around zhe time you discovered zhe portal in zhe basement I zhink. I vas poking around und zhere vas something in her vorkshop zhat felt..nice. I followed zhe feeling und she vasn't thrilled."

Rip took a few moments to think back on that particular conversation. It had been a strange one by her standards but, informative in its own way.

"Und vat exactly does she have access to zhat vould be useful?"

Oh, so she's still mucking about with it? He leans back into the sofa.

"She has access to the Spirit Sword shard--what's left of Palindrome. She was distilling something from a few grains of it. That must be what you sensed."

Rip frowned a little. "Zhat vas from your veapon? She said it vas a serum she had been vorking on.. Zomething about crystals und purifying energies." There was a faint tilt of her head as she shifts to lean against his side.

"She claimed it vould be used to cure sicknesses."

"That's one of the things the Spirit Sword could--can do. It can purify energies. Remove corruption. It's... it's difficult to explain. A great deal of energy work is intuitive. Much more magick than science."

He goes silent for a moment. "I may need to reclaim it."

"Reclaim it?" She frowned faintly. "You mean steal it back." At least that's how she's interpreting this.

"Vell, if zhats zhe case. I may be able to help."

"If it comes to that, then I may have to. But I should like to avoid legal entanglements, if for no other reason than I don't wish to make things difficult for Jennifer."

Another sigh. "I'll see if I can get Doctor Reid to speak on my behalf, first."

She nodded slightly before resting her head on his shoulder. "My offer of helping still stands. I can alvays try to handle Ivy if you need to. She's brutal vith zhat sword but, I am built to vithstand a lot more zhan people realize."

Now more than ever actually.. She smirks faintly before turning her head to press her face against his shoulder. The secrets she has to keep...

"Besides, Zhe best vay to handle zhe good doctor iz to appeal to his professional curiosity. Do zhat und you vill haf his attention und compliance."

If there was anyone he knew who could fight that woman, it'd likely be Rip. He'd like to watch it, but mainly because he'd like to watch Ivy being torn to shreds by his favourite person.

Azwel's priorities are very strange, sometimes.

He rests his head on hers and gives a quiet huff of laughter. "Very true. Very much like me in some respects."